hope dangles on a string...

i think im doing the backslide and falling into depression again. what's worse is i know what the problem is and i can't do anything about it!

i tried going to the mall and shop myself silly but that didn't seem to work. shoes, no effect. clothes, didn't even leave a hint of happiness. cd's, that ALMOST made me smile (have i thanked God for that new tower rec in north edsa?!). heck, food didn't even quite do it. can you believe that?! FOOD. F-O-O-D dint even make me smile. that's DEFINITELY NOT a good sign!

i feel totally worthless. and alone. and frustrated. and disappointed. and displeased with myself. i hope my ability to show negative emotions works this time. oh gawd. why now?!

i think il just drive myself silly. maybe the night breeze in my face would do me good.

i hope.