goo 'bye 2004, hello 2005!

the year's coming to an end and what am i doing? i'm in front of the pc, making myself a journal entry. PATHETIC, ain't it? i should be celebrating and having fun and shit right? well guess what?! I'M NOT.

my 2004 started with shit in an ice cream cone slapped on my forehead. and if that doesn't show how my year went, i'll tell you this.... the following months weren't better. it is so sucky, i won't even go into details. as for now, i just want it to end.

on the other hand, there are a few little things im thankful for though. like that 2-month vacation in palawan, and those new friends i got to meet. and oh, this blog too.

family's preparing for tonight's feast and i'm not helping. =P nanay's making arroz caldo (huwaaaaaaaat?! arroz caldo?! for new year?! i hear you! ^_^) ate amor's making spaghetti. dad's making his specialty.... BARBECUE. typical pinoy feast eh. YUM. hehe. and then there's buko salad, and macaroni salad, and some other salad i don't even know the name of. then there's tikoy and fruits and what else? hmmmn... ewan. parang nararamdaman ko na ito rin ang magiging pagkain namin for the whole week. hehehe.

i'm stuffing myself silly. 'cuz after tonight, i'm going on a diet. for real, this time. ohhh yeahhh. D-I-E-T. what a crappy way to start my year, eh?

anyways, i think i better get off the pc before i get all cynic-y and crappy and shitty again.

and just in case i forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

bah humbug!

NEW YEAR! NEW YEAR! NEW YEAR!

what else is new?!


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cynic, skeptic, and still jaded

hmmmn...

it just hit me. 2004 wasn't very nice to me. it's the worst year for me actually. really hoping my rainbow's coming on 2005. i need it real bad.


*******
skittish

so this is love...

i got myself pink chucks!!!!

now, if only i got a digi cam.... =P


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still jaded

it was a gay christmas!

my predictions were right. got moolah from the 'rents and uncas and aunts and NOTHING from the god parents. tsss. asa pa ako. over all, christmas was ok. not that good like it used to, but OK nonetheless.

promed program went pretty well. the place was teeming with pretty pretty pretty people. lalake nga lang. hahaha. gays here, gays there. there were alot of gay people (me, being one of 'em..=P). and take note, ang gaganda nila. the one who won, looked like..hmmnnn... rosanna roces. although she was impersonating kc concepcion that night. her...er...his manager said he'd already undergone three surgeries. that explains the boobies and his voice. if it wasn't a gay beauty pageant, i wouldnt've known that he was gay. and the curves....oh the curves! she must've taken a whole lotta hormones for that. she really looks like a girl. nice legs. inggit ako.

i had fun. really. most fun i've had in weeks. but it could've been better. oh well.


*******
jaded

'tis the season to be jolly......NOT!

just two more friggin' days and it's my most favorite-est day of the year. i've not missed a single dawn mass and i intend to keep it that way. last two dawn mass wishes were granted so i'm expecting this year's would be granted too. *fingers crossed*

as for gifts, im not expecting much. i'll prolly just get moolah from the 'rents and the uncas and aunts. not that i don't want that. i would actually appreciate that more. i kindov not like getting stuff i dont really need. but hey, dont get me wrong. i appreciate all the gifts given to me. it's just that, i don't wanna get mugs and tube tops that won't fit or anything of that sort anymore. but but but.... i really wish i could get those cd's i've been wanting to get my hands on for the longest time (tito ji, you're my only hope...=P). and no, im not expecting anything from the god parents because i haven't really gotten anything from them. well, none that i could remember. and from what i heard, most of 'em are either in the states or some isolated part of the country that cable tv can't reach.

christmas shopping... well... i'm not quite done yet. i got my sister a new skirt and a yellow, off shoulder top. what am i doing writing it here for everyone to see? well you see, i was afraid that it wouldn't fit her, so i just gave it to her without even wrapping it. and well, waddayaknow?! she wore it today. to her hs kada's christmas party. ^_^

so that leaves mum and dad. i've talked with mum and she said that i could just get her one (a gift) when she comes on the 24th. but knowing her, we'll prolly just shop after the holidays. as for dad... well, that's my prob. i dunno what to get him. and i really really REALLY want to give him one on christmas eve. done with the shirt, the watch, even boxers. so any of you guys who's got suggestions, kindly text me immediately. and i mean, I-M-M-E-D-I-A-T-E-L-Y.

i haven't gotten anything for myself yet (as always). and i prolly never will. i just want this christmas to be fun. i haven't had fun for the longest time and i really wish this christmas will be.

so, that wraps everything up. i dunno when i could get back to posting but i promise i will, before the year ends.

and just in case i forget, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!


*******
solitary confinement

eh?

somebody told me that the grass is much greener on the other side.

but is it really?

i took a peek. ain't that much greener really.

*******

just for the squee of it

make it go away...please?

I lie awake
I've gone to ground
I'm watching porn
In my hotel dressing gown
Now I dream of you
But I still believe
There's only enough for one in this
Lonely hotel suite

The journey's long
And it feels so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak
I draw strength from you
And when you're lost
I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down
You breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
We are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know
I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak
I draw strength from you
And when you're lost
I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
we are each other's destiny

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost
I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down
You breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart
we are each other's destiny

I'll fly,
I'll fly home
I'll fly home
and I'll fly home

****DESTINY, Zero7


*******
certain and confused

random thoughts

- leland grant who plays keith on the new partridge family show looks a hell like wuts-his-face mckenzie of the oc.

- we consume a kilo of calamansi every 3 days.

- my walls need repainting.

- need to clean the house. mum's coming on the 20th.

- my slippers need a bath.

- nobody likes me and i'm gonna die alone.


*******
still on denial

red all over

list of men i absolutely adore (aside from family, that is):

- ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
> can you believe i've the crush for him for the longest time?! eversince i saw heart&soul i knew i'd fallen. true, his drug addiction's disappointed me -- ALOT if i may add -- but we can't erase the fact that he's a good, great even, actor. you still have my heart robert.

- BENJAMIN BRATT
> exotic face, hunkaliciously delicious bod..... who wouldn't want a piece 'o that?

- ADAM SANDLER
> who puts the FUN in funny? that's adam sandler alright. the man who made us blush when he sang "grow old with you"... the man who made us giggle like crazy on billy madison... the man who made us blush scarlet on 50 first dates. need i say more?

- JIM CAVIEZEL
> angel eyes. his eyes definitely are but that's not exactly what i meant. that's the first story i've seen him on and i've liked him eversince. he played this deep, mysterious man who've lost his family in a car accident. i guess deep and mysterious just stuck with him even after the movie. deep and mysterious.... aaaahhh.

- JIMMY FALLEN
> this guy's friggin' hilarious! makes me fall off my seat each and everytime. again, another one of 'em actors who puts the FUN in funny. and the man could sing. oooooooh! he COULD DEFINITELY sing. just watch him on SNL and you'll know what i'm talking about. sweet and swoony....


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another one to come.

all i want for christmas part II

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST #2:

- THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA cd
- SANDWICH "thanks to the moon's gravitational pull" ( not sure...talkin about the one with two-trick pony) cd
- BAMBOO (the black-covered one)
- a DIGITAL CAMERA (can you say CAMWHORE?! hehe)
- MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL cd
- that uber-cool jacket in YRYS
- black cuff stillettos in otto


more to come... more to come...


*******
black nails and black lights

all i want for christmas part II

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST #2:

- THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA cd
- SANDWICH "thanks to the moon's gravitational pull" ( not sure...talkin about the one with two-trick pony) cd
- BAMBOO (the black-covered one)
- a DIGITAL CAMERA (can you say CAMWHORE?! hehe)
- MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL cd
- that uber-cool jacket in YRYS
- black cuff stillettos in otto


more to come... more to come...


*******
black nails and black lights

this is for YOU

I look away

Then I look back at you

You try to say

The things that you can't undo

If I had my way

I'd never get over you

Today's the day

I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall

Make it through it all

[Chorus:]

And I don't wanna fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,

I'd be with till the end

When I come undone

You bring me back again

Back under the star

Back into your arms

***FALL TO PIECES, avril lavigne

it's been a while since i've had a song. i've always had one. for an event, for something i like, for stuff that's happening to me. even for someone. emo, huh? music's just been a big part of my life...and now, so are YOU. so i just thought i'd find one for YOU. yes YOU. ^_^

*******
aware yet clueless

rudolph the red-nosed reindeer has a psychedelic nose...and if you ever saw it, you'll swear it's a big fat rose...

christmas is in 21 days yet it doesn't feel anything like it. sure the night breeze' chilly and everywhere you go you'll hear christmas songs played but it just doesn't spell christmas at all. it feels more of like that moment when you're 5 and you learn that santa ain't real and you've been trying (and i mean, TRYING) to be good and nice for a whole year just so you could get that gift you wanted. sucks, doesn't it?

it shouldn't feel this way. i shouldn't feel this way. not during the holidays, at least. christmas is my MOST FAVORITE-EST time of the year (emphasis needed, thankyouverymuch.) and it feels... oh-so-ugh... why now? WHYYYYY???


*******
someone make me happy, please?

all i want for christmas

CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

- DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL "the places you have come to fear the most" album
- DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL "mtv unplugged" album
- DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL "swiss army romance" album
- DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL videos, t-shirts, and POSTERS (i'm sure to have 'em framed)
- CHRISTOPHER ENDER CARRABBA
- RILO KILEY "more adventurous" album
- THE DONNAS "american teenage rock n roll machine" album
- THE DONNAS "get skintight" album
- THE DONNAS "turn 21" album
- that ZERO7 album which has "destiny" on it
- that NO DOUBT greatest hits album
- USHER "confessions" album (ooo...k. i'm not gona explain myself)
- ALICIA KEYS' latest album (im not sure of the album title. i'm talkin about the one with "karma" on it.)
- a new DISCMAN or any cd player as long as it's portable
- a boom box
- a green (or white) i-POD or any mp3 player
- a new NOKIA 5500 if i cant get myself an mp3 player. or even if it isn't brand new, as long as the fm radio and the mp3 player's workin. (i dont like those colored phones. it takes too much time to load. UNLESS, it's a motorola v600. then that's another story.)
- a MOTOROLA V600
- a WHOLE NEW WARDROBE (more black shirts for me! YAY!)
- a FRIGGIN' JOB

you see, this wish list is quite short. i haven't really thought about what i want for christmas yet. hehehe.

so anyone of you who could help me with this... hmmmn... i dunno what i can give you back yet but you're sure to be forever in my heart. REALLY. and for someone as jaded as i am, that's something. i don't put anyone in my heart that fast. well... not anymore. i could hardly trust someone let alone be a part of me. so yeah. that's my list. more to come. more to come.


*******
bittersweet but oh-so-yummy.

i've been lookin so crazy right now... chris carrabba's makin me so crazy right now...

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL is on tv!!! DASHBOARD effin' CONFESSIONAL! christopher-ender-carrabba, dashboard-confessional. on tv. on LOCAL tv!!!! aaaaahhhhh!

*village idiot dies*

nobody told me DC's videos are available on local tv. (well, except for that "vindicated" vid which was for promo for spidey 2.) it wasn't even on MTV. it was on that text thingy of some local channel which airs during late nights.i just chanced upon it when i switched channels after that conan o'brien show. i love you text thingy!!!!!

i just caught half of it though. BUT STILL. screaming infidelities. waaaaaaaah. gorgeous. gorgeous. gorgeous. JUST GORGEOUS.

and i just found out something. a month of having that DC cd, and i just learned that it comes with a "Hands Down" vid if you play it on the pc. how purdy is that, huh?!

gorgeous man. gorgeous voice. uber talented hot guy.

i WANT CHRIS CARRABBA for christmas!


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sweet and tangy