come back, please?

waking up without that wonderfully irritating lick on my face, or the gentle yapping on the door, or even accidentally stepping on dog piss (or crap) early in the morning just makes zippo's absence more felt than ever. it was hard for me to see my sister so sad over our loss but it's doubly hard that for me i cannot do anything to make her feel better. i, myself, tried really hard not to cry in front of her when i got home yesterday.

it was a shock when she texted me that zippo died. crying, even if i really wanted to, wasn't an option. i was at the BFAD yesterday and i didn't want my friends to think that i get crazy over some trivial things. but you see, losing our lil soft paws isn't trivial, nor is it shallow. i have never loved a dog, or any other pet for that matter, as much as i did ZIPPO. i was crushed, to say the least.

just yesterday morning, i said goodbye to him like i always do and he gave me his usual nod. i didn't imagine that it'll be the last time that i'll be seeing him alive and breathing. if i knew he would be going then i should've stayed a lil longer to play or cuddle with him. but i can't do that anymore, can i?

and i dunno if it's anything but my sister said when she came looking for him, she found him inside my room. INSIDE MY ROOM. what was he doing in my room? was he looking for me? was he trying to look for me to say that he needs something? you may think that im making a big fuss that he chose to lay to rest inside my room but you see, he NEVER goes in there when im not around. i tried making him go inside countless times but he wont unless he sees me inside first. so why is he in there?

the first time in years that i let myself out and love again... and he leaves me just like everybody else.

i miss you, ZIPPO. come back, please? :(

no more YOU... :(

no more early morning licks on my face.

no more cute lil scratches on my door.

no more poo on the bed

no more piss on my bedroom floor.

no more ass wiping and hot baths.

no more late night bottle-feeding,

no more picking up after you.

no more "come here, baby"

no more "stop it!" or "get out of there!"

no more running around the room.

no more hugs.

and no more cuddling.

and worse....

no more YOU.

i hope you're having the grandest time up there in dog heaven our dear, lil soft paws. we love you and we'll definitely miss you. :(

and just in case you see them around, please lick cookie, puto, and puti's faces for us. :( :( :(



*******
in memoriam
ZIPPO
02 February 2006 - 22 March 2006

and because i haven't posted in a gazillion years....

........ feeektyuuuuuurs!!!! ^____^

<------------- this uber cute, furry, lil thing is ZIPPO. he is my sister's lil puppy. a product of shih tzu and lhasa apso breeds, i reckon he'll grow up into one helluva hairy mongrel. shiyeaaah!








adorable, really. he loffs lying down like
that. he likes it better if you spin him. yep. spin him like you do with a bottle during spin-a-bottle game. cruel, you think? he loffs it. LOVES IT. <3











this is me and my sister going camwhore craaaazyyyyy!!!!! (note: me's trying hard to make a hand-heart.)

imaginary rollercoasters are fun! ^__^ look mum, no hands!!!!

we can't really be friends anymore, can we?

i may have let YOU go, the idea of "us" together, go. but NEVER had i given up hope that maybe someday, SOMEDAY, we could be friends again. i've never given up on hoping that someday we could go about the things like we used to. that we could see and talk with each other like we used to. that someday, we could have a conversation that would not leave any of us hurt, or leaving both of us more hurt, than what we already feel. i had NEVER given up for the sole reason that we were, more than anything else, good friends before everything started to crumble.

every meeting, every conversation pulls us down and breaks us even more. everytime i see you, i end up more broken than i already am and this time, it's just not worth the pain. there's just no reason, no point, and no sense to hold on anymore.

the conversation saturday morning just slapped me with a bitter dose of reality. and it's true when they said that the truth hurts. some things should've been left unsaid, unspoken for.

things that i hold really dear to me, events that (supposed to be) would be forever etched in my heart, memories that have made me who i am now, alot of them include you. it would be consolation enough that you'd remember all the important things that we've done. or at least those that had made a mark and touched us in ways that we didn't even know possible. but no, for you they're nothing but nonsensical emotional farts that's good for nothing else but for the exact moment it were happening.

don't blame premature senility for it. premature senility doesn't cut it anymore. saying you tend to forget things alot isn't an allowable excuse either. please cut the cutie-college-boy excuses. it just isn't making any sense.

the brain forgets but the heart doesn't.

referring to it as "vague" moments, the reason why you can't remember them, felt like a slash of a knife down my already bleeding heart. vague?!

thank the Lord that i'm sane enough not to kill myself after writing a letter blaming YOU for it.

it hurts alot to know that we could never be anything more than what we are now... just a bunch of has-beens, ex-es, or whatever you may wanna call it. and as much as i want to keep on hoping, on holding on, on wishing that someday we could just look back and laugh at how silly these things or us were, i don't think it's possible anymore. there are no looking back, no reminiscing, no more memories.

i am saying good-bye. to the memories, to the friendship, to YOU.i hope you have a good life.


*******
i tried.
HARD.